Just relax, would you?

Having kids is awesome.  It’s also noisy, messy, and stressful.  That’s just how it is.  Throw a child with special needs into the equation, and the noise, mess, and stress is magnified.  My oldest son has Down syndrome, and while I wouldn’t trade him for anything in the world, I often think that most people really don’t get what it’s like to have a child with special needs.  Even if you also have a child with a developmental delay, our experiences could be so completely different that you just can’t compare them.  I’m not complaining or fishing for sympathy, I’m simply illustrating that certain aspects of life are more complex.

My kiddo with Ds is eight years old, and he is awesome.  He loves to laugh, enjoys playing basketball and baseball, spends hours with his Hot Wheels cars, and can out-dance me any day of the week.  This is the kid I hope most people see, but that’s just the surface.  He is probably the most stubborn person I know (and if you know my family, that’s saying a LOT!), refuses to be potty trained (he had it earlier this year, then regressed after a tonsillectomy over the summer, and we just can’t get it back), and throws himself on the floor in an ugly tantrum at least twice daily (and most often, in public, when we have an audience).  When people do see these little episodes, and observe me trying to deal with them (usually while herding the other two kids, plus an armful of their stuff), I wonder what must be going through their heads.  It’s hard not to, right?

Knowing all of this, and adding all of life’s other lovely obstacles into the mix (stuff we all deal with: financial woes, time management – or lack thereof, dealing with relationships, the endless task of cleaning the house…), it should be easy to understand why I might be stressed out.  Ok, that’s an understatement.  I am definitely stressed out, most of the time.  I’ve learned to just accept that as a fact of life, and until someone hands me a magic wand that will instantly clean my house, potty train my kid, and plant a money tree in my backyard, that’s probably how it will be.

You will have to excuse me, then, when you simply tell me to “Relax, Jen!” and I fight the urge to punch you. Don’t you see the mess piling up behind me, my poorly behaving children at the most inopportune moments, and my gray hair from debating whether or not to go back to work full time and worrying if we can handle it, schedule-wise??  (Actually, you better not see my gray hair because I pay a lot to have it disguised.)  Just relax?!?  Seriously??

Well, ok then.  I’ll try.  It won’t be easy, and I can’t promise success, but I will try in the new year to not be as uptight and stressed out over every last thing.

This is HUGE, people.  Not only am I admitting that I need to change something about myself, but I’m agreeing to do something that I haven’t been able to do for almost the last nine years.  I will need help, and your patience, to make this attempt.  And if I accidentally punch you, my apologies.  I’m still learning how to relax.

So, here’s to the new year.  May it bring, at the very least, a potty trained kiddo, a clean house, and 20 minutes a day for this Mama Duck to sit down and read a book without being interrupted.  Cheers!

Snowy Saturday

I do not like snow.  It’s cold, it makes the roads difficult to navigate, and it adds a good 20 minutes to the time it takes me to get the kids ready to go anywhere.  Good think I live in Ohio, right?

We woke up this morning to another couple inches of snow; the kids were thrilled, and I feigned excitement as they made plans for sledding and snowmen.  We’re all fighting off colds, but knowing that they would need to burn off some energy, I didn’t try to talk them out of playing outside.  Fortunately, they decided that playing inside was a better choice.

As they played board games and fought as only siblings can, I decided to try out something I saw on Pinterest.  Not a fun craft, or recipe, but a homemade cleaner for the shower.  Yep, I decided to take on the nasty shower, my nemesis.  When we bought this house, the builder guy told us that we would need to grout the shower.  So, Mark did just that.  However, we were then informed (by a neighbor, I believe) that all we really had to do was seal the grout in the shower.  Obviously, our shower is a mess, and it is nearly impossible to clean.  As a busy mom, I am great at putting “my things” last on the ominous to-do list: my laundry, my meals (how often do I look up to find that it’s already 2pm and I haven’t eaten yet?), cleaning my room and bathroom.  Ok, so even if I wasn’t super busy, I probably would still place the cleaning at the bottom of the list.  Especially lately, with all the talk of the Mayans and their infamous calendar, I certainly wasn’t going to waste any precious moments scrubbing the shower stall.

Freaking Mayans.

As happy as I am that the world is still marching along, I officially ran out of excuses today.  Having almost recovered from Christmas, and being stuck inside on a cold, snowy Saturday, I decided to quit whining (in my head, of course) about the stinking shower and just clean it.  I mixed up the magical cleaner I found on Pinterest (I almost expected sparkly stars to come flying out of the bucket), opened Pandora on my phone, took a deep breath, and started scrubbing.

And scrubbing.  And scrubbing.  And more scrubbing.

Two hours later, I realized that I am probably slightly obsessive compulsive about the cleanliness of the shower.  I guess it’s all or nothing; it either doesn’t get cleaned, or I clean the daylights out of it.  Maybe I just enjoyed the solitude as I listened to some favorite tunes.  Mark wasn’t about to interrupt me; he was either happy that I was doing something domestic, or in shock.  Eh, a clean shower is a clean shower.

The rest of my day was consumed by even more Pinterest daydreaming (I need a good homemade cleaner for the soap scum on the glass shower doors…and at least five more chicken recipes, right?), playing with the kids and their new Christmas toys, and just laying on the couch.  It was lovely.  I’ve almost forgotten how to be a couch potato, since I typically never even sit down on the couch for five minutes because our schedules are so crazy.

I guess that snowy days are good for a couple of things.  Relaxing and nemesis battling.  Both long overdue. With any luck, tomorrow will bring more of the same.

Ok, for real this time…

Six (ok, almost seven) months ago I pledged to blog more often.  Oops.  But, with 2012 coming to an end and 2013 looming upon us, I figure that it is as good a time as any to try again.  Here goes nothin’.

I do a lot.  Too much, it seems, most days.  The piles of laundry can speak to that.  It takes a lot to raise three kids, run an AVON business (yes, a shameless self-plug!), co-lead a PTO, and do a handful of other things.  I barely have time for much else (although there is always time for Words With Friends), so why not start writing, right?  Truth is, I enjoy writing, and always have.  Since the kids came along, though, my writing has taken an accidental comedic turn, which has led several people to insist that I write a book.  What a terrifying thought!  Exciting, but scary.  I mean, who cares enough about my life to read about it?  Except, maybe, it would make everyone realize that although a person can present herself in a calm, even graceful manner, underneath it all she is paddling like hell to stay above water.

Like a duck.

My dear friend Woz (please read her blog here) made that comparison years ago, and it stuck.  Think about it: when you watch a duck, gracefully gliding across the water or bobbing gently atop of it, you almost forget that its feet are working overtime to keep it from sinking.  I can relate.  On a daily basis.

I’m hoping that writing on a more regular basis will have a cathartic affect, kind of a mental brain dump (that sounds so gross, sorry!) that will help me unwind.  I hope you will enjoy reading about some of my adventures; I promise, they are rarely mundane…my three darling little ducklings make sure of that!

So, cheers to us all as we gear up for 2013.  Welcome to my duck pond.  I hope you will visit often.