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Back to the same ol’, same ol’…

After a lovely holiday break, we had to rise and shine extra early today to return to our “normal” schedule.  My alarm went off way too early (as I enjoyed the luxury of “sleeping in” until 8am for the last couple of weeks), and although I fully anticipated a huge struggle from the kids to get ready for school, it was a surprisingly smooth transition back to reality.  My youngest duckling returns to school tomorrow, and I’ll have something I haven’t had for more than two weeks: two and a half hours of kid-free time.

I almost feel guilty about enjoying those two and half hours so much.  I don’t get to do anything indulgent, like watch my shows on television, shop for shoes, or take a nap.  No, I fill those hours doing the errands that kids hate (on tomorrow’s agenda: renewing my license plates, woo hoo!), or scrubbing things in the house that will have time to dry before the kids return from school.  Do I know how to party or what??

As excited as I get about my “break”, there is a problem:  I plan about six hours of tasks to complete in that brief time period.  Then, I get all stressed out and discouraged that I didn’t finish my list and just blow off the rest of the day (how do you think I’ve found so many great items on Pinterest??).  So, my goal for this year is to try to be more realistic in what I can actually accomplish, then save time at the end of the day to enjoy the fact that I did finish my list instead of being grumpy that I couldn’t get through it all.  The result should be a more relaxed, organized, and happier mama.

It’s going to take some time to adjust, that’s for sure!  It’s already 5pm, and while I’ve done quite a few things from today’s list, I still have dinner to make, laundry to fold, kids to corral…deep breaths to take.

All good things in due time, though, right?!?

The Sock Monster’s Kingdom

Everyone has missing socks.  No matter what you do, or how organized you are, chances are you’ve lost a sock in the wash.  Where do they go?  It’s like there is a monster living in the dryer that feeds on socks.  At least, that’s how I’ve imagined it.  So many years of finding sad, lonely socks without their mate will cause a mind to conjure up interesting reasons as to the whereabouts of the rogue socks.

But in my house, it doesn’t stop at socks.

Random items come up missing frequently around here.  Given, with three kids (ages eight, six, and four), this is not the most organized of homes, but our things go missing more often than they should.  My oldest son’s glasses, for example.  He had them one minute, the next, gone.  I tore this house apart looking for them, to no avail.  Two years later, they still have not resurfaced.  In my head, the Sock Monster now has some very expensive spectacles (as he must be able to see better with them…somebody should get some use of them, I suppose), for which he uses to steal more socks.

And shoes.  And important school papers.  And credit cards, house keys, toys, lipsticks, remotes, and just about everything else.

Including my youngest son’s beloved blankies. Oy, the blankies.

I bought his blankies for him before he was born, and from the beginning, the kid was rarely seen without his “kiki”.  They came in a pair; brilliant, as one could be washed while the other was being snuggled.  However, once he was old enough to catch on to the fact that there were two kikis, he insisted on having them both.  Being the youngest of three kids, it was easier to indulge him in that than to argue with him.  Now, four years later, he is still fiercely loyal to his kikis and has a difficult time functioning without them.  You can imagine the commotion that fell upon the house three weeks ago when we realized that the kikis were missing.

Of course, we didn’t realize it until bedtime.  In fact, he had been snuggling with them on the couch just that afternoon, as he had to get three immunizations that day and he was sore and cranky.  But, poof, they were gone.  The poor little guy was so distraught, crying and panicked, which of course made me feel terrible.  We looked everywhere…for three days straight.  The whole weekend, in any free moment, was spent checking every possible hiding spot in this house, but no luck.  They were seemingly gone.  He didn’t sleep well those three nights, which meant that I didn’t sleep well, until finally I took him to a nearby shop to buy a substitute kiki.  We couldn’t find one that was just like the originals, but we purchased the only one they had in the store; it was “soft and fluffy, just like my kikis”.  It wasn’t the same, but it would do.

Days continued to pass, and I thought for sure that since I had spent $18 on a stinking replacement blankie that the original ones would pop up anytime.  Nope.  Then my little guy started telling us, quite excitedly, that Santa would find his kikis when he brought presents on Christmas Eve, because Santa is “magic and can do anything”.

Crap.

I was already all worked up over the kid’s Christmas gifts, because he was asking Santa for only one thing: a “big Flash toy that talks”.  I looked everywhere for that particular super hero, searched the ends of the Internet, and even talked to two different comic book guys…but nothing.  No talking super heroes.  He completely imagined this toy, and was convinced that Santa would bring it because he was a good boy.  Of course, I was so worried that he would think that Santa put him on the Naughty List because he didn’t get this fantastic toy.

As Christmas approached, the kikis were still hidden away somewhere. Fortunately, when Christmas morning finally arrived, all of my kids were absolutely thrilled with their gifts from Santa, and I was relieved.  Neither the imagined Flash toy nor the kikis were mentioned.  I had even stopped looking for the old blankies; I figured that if they were going to surface, they would surface on their own time (selfish Sock Monster!).

The kids’ holiday break marched along, and was spent playing with new toys, romping around in the fresh snow, and enjoying a much needed break from our very busy schedules.  Just this morning, the last weekday of their break, we were getting ready to head to the movies when they were invited to have a sleepover at my parents’ house.  What kid doesn’t want to spend time with their doting grandparents?!?  They were thrilled at the prospect, and bounced off to pack their bags.  Not two minutes later, my sweet little guy appeared in front of me, beaming from ear to ear…and clutching his two kikis to his heart.  “Mommy, they were in the small pocket of my Buzz Lightyear suitcase!  I found them!!”  He then ran off to finish packing, and just like that, the drama of the last three weeks was over.

Sorry, Sock Monster, the kikis do not belong to you after all.  Sock Monster – 43, Kearns Family – 1.  You can keep every last sock you find, but do not mess with the kikis.  That is just not cool.

My wish for 2013…

Happy New Year!  I hope everyone is enjoying a day full of relaxing, family, football…or whatever it is that you love.

Today is a day for hope, for new beginnings.  It’s a day for evaluating our lives and determining what we can do to improve things for ourselves.  While I do have a list of resolutions (that may or may not happen, ha!), I have one wish that I hope everyone will consider adding to their lists:

Just.  Be.  Nice.

That’s it.  Easy, right?  Apparently, not so much.  All too often I see little acts of pettiness, anger, even hatred toward other people that are just completely unnecessary.  I see these things in my community, online, in the news.  I don’t know about you, but I’m sick of it.

Now, I’m not suggesting that we all dance barefoot in a big circle and sing cheesy songs to confirm our undying love for everyone; I’m not that unrealistic.  However, if you see the opportunity to be nice, maybe think about doing it.  Hold a door for someone.  Say “please” and “thank you”.  Don’t say nasty things about someone behind their back.  Don’t judge others because their lives are different from yours.  Don’t call somebody or something “retarded” because you disagree/don’t like/find them ridiculous…and I do mean any form of that word (“libtard”, “fucktard”, “tardball”…unfortunately, there are more), and definitely don’t defend your ignorance for using that word when somebody calls you out on it (we’ll get into that more later!).  Volunteer more.  Wave “hello” to your neighbors.  Return your shopping cart when you’re finished with it.  Don’t let your kids be rude to others, even if they are “just kids” or “don’t mean it”.  If you make a mess, clean it up.

Obviously, some of things are personal pet peeves; others, things I should work on as well.  This is not a complete list, for sure.  Forgive me if I sound condescending or self-righteous; that is not the intent.  Everyone has room for improvement.  Think of it this way: put positive in, get positive out.  What do we have to lose by being nicer to each other?

It’s up to us to make 2013 a good year.  If we sit back and complain about everything, say rude things to or about others, and not try to make any improvements, then we’ll be sitting here a year from now making snide remarks about the way the last 12 months went.  I’d rather hear about how great everything is, and make a list of things we can do to build on that.

Just relax, would you?

Having kids is awesome.  It’s also noisy, messy, and stressful.  That’s just how it is.  Throw a child with special needs into the equation, and the noise, mess, and stress is magnified.  My oldest son has Down syndrome, and while I wouldn’t trade him for anything in the world, I often think that most people really don’t get what it’s like to have a child with special needs.  Even if you also have a child with a developmental delay, our experiences could be so completely different that you just can’t compare them.  I’m not complaining or fishing for sympathy, I’m simply illustrating that certain aspects of life are more complex.

My kiddo with Ds is eight years old, and he is awesome.  He loves to laugh, enjoys playing basketball and baseball, spends hours with his Hot Wheels cars, and can out-dance me any day of the week.  This is the kid I hope most people see, but that’s just the surface.  He is probably the most stubborn person I know (and if you know my family, that’s saying a LOT!), refuses to be potty trained (he had it earlier this year, then regressed after a tonsillectomy over the summer, and we just can’t get it back), and throws himself on the floor in an ugly tantrum at least twice daily (and most often, in public, when we have an audience).  When people do see these little episodes, and observe me trying to deal with them (usually while herding the other two kids, plus an armful of their stuff), I wonder what must be going through their heads.  It’s hard not to, right?

Knowing all of this, and adding all of life’s other lovely obstacles into the mix (stuff we all deal with: financial woes, time management – or lack thereof, dealing with relationships, the endless task of cleaning the house…), it should be easy to understand why I might be stressed out.  Ok, that’s an understatement.  I am definitely stressed out, most of the time.  I’ve learned to just accept that as a fact of life, and until someone hands me a magic wand that will instantly clean my house, potty train my kid, and plant a money tree in my backyard, that’s probably how it will be.

You will have to excuse me, then, when you simply tell me to “Relax, Jen!” and I fight the urge to punch you. Don’t you see the mess piling up behind me, my poorly behaving children at the most inopportune moments, and my gray hair from debating whether or not to go back to work full time and worrying if we can handle it, schedule-wise??  (Actually, you better not see my gray hair because I pay a lot to have it disguised.)  Just relax?!?  Seriously??

Well, ok then.  I’ll try.  It won’t be easy, and I can’t promise success, but I will try in the new year to not be as uptight and stressed out over every last thing.

This is HUGE, people.  Not only am I admitting that I need to change something about myself, but I’m agreeing to do something that I haven’t been able to do for almost the last nine years.  I will need help, and your patience, to make this attempt.  And if I accidentally punch you, my apologies.  I’m still learning how to relax.

So, here’s to the new year.  May it bring, at the very least, a potty trained kiddo, a clean house, and 20 minutes a day for this Mama Duck to sit down and read a book without being interrupted.  Cheers!

Snowy Saturday

I do not like snow.  It’s cold, it makes the roads difficult to navigate, and it adds a good 20 minutes to the time it takes me to get the kids ready to go anywhere.  Good think I live in Ohio, right?

We woke up this morning to another couple inches of snow; the kids were thrilled, and I feigned excitement as they made plans for sledding and snowmen.  We’re all fighting off colds, but knowing that they would need to burn off some energy, I didn’t try to talk them out of playing outside.  Fortunately, they decided that playing inside was a better choice.

As they played board games and fought as only siblings can, I decided to try out something I saw on Pinterest.  Not a fun craft, or recipe, but a homemade cleaner for the shower.  Yep, I decided to take on the nasty shower, my nemesis.  When we bought this house, the builder guy told us that we would need to grout the shower.  So, Mark did just that.  However, we were then informed (by a neighbor, I believe) that all we really had to do was seal the grout in the shower.  Obviously, our shower is a mess, and it is nearly impossible to clean.  As a busy mom, I am great at putting “my things” last on the ominous to-do list: my laundry, my meals (how often do I look up to find that it’s already 2pm and I haven’t eaten yet?), cleaning my room and bathroom.  Ok, so even if I wasn’t super busy, I probably would still place the cleaning at the bottom of the list.  Especially lately, with all the talk of the Mayans and their infamous calendar, I certainly wasn’t going to waste any precious moments scrubbing the shower stall.

Freaking Mayans.

As happy as I am that the world is still marching along, I officially ran out of excuses today.  Having almost recovered from Christmas, and being stuck inside on a cold, snowy Saturday, I decided to quit whining (in my head, of course) about the stinking shower and just clean it.  I mixed up the magical cleaner I found on Pinterest (I almost expected sparkly stars to come flying out of the bucket), opened Pandora on my phone, took a deep breath, and started scrubbing.

And scrubbing.  And scrubbing.  And more scrubbing.

Two hours later, I realized that I am probably slightly obsessive compulsive about the cleanliness of the shower.  I guess it’s all or nothing; it either doesn’t get cleaned, or I clean the daylights out of it.  Maybe I just enjoyed the solitude as I listened to some favorite tunes.  Mark wasn’t about to interrupt me; he was either happy that I was doing something domestic, or in shock.  Eh, a clean shower is a clean shower.

The rest of my day was consumed by even more Pinterest daydreaming (I need a good homemade cleaner for the soap scum on the glass shower doors…and at least five more chicken recipes, right?), playing with the kids and their new Christmas toys, and just laying on the couch.  It was lovely.  I’ve almost forgotten how to be a couch potato, since I typically never even sit down on the couch for five minutes because our schedules are so crazy.

I guess that snowy days are good for a couple of things.  Relaxing and nemesis battling.  Both long overdue. With any luck, tomorrow will bring more of the same.

Ok, for real this time…

Six (ok, almost seven) months ago I pledged to blog more often.  Oops.  But, with 2012 coming to an end and 2013 looming upon us, I figure that it is as good a time as any to try again.  Here goes nothin’.

I do a lot.  Too much, it seems, most days.  The piles of laundry can speak to that.  It takes a lot to raise three kids, run an AVON business (yes, a shameless self-plug!), co-lead a PTO, and do a handful of other things.  I barely have time for much else (although there is always time for Words With Friends), so why not start writing, right?  Truth is, I enjoy writing, and always have.  Since the kids came along, though, my writing has taken an accidental comedic turn, which has led several people to insist that I write a book.  What a terrifying thought!  Exciting, but scary.  I mean, who cares enough about my life to read about it?  Except, maybe, it would make everyone realize that although a person can present herself in a calm, even graceful manner, underneath it all she is paddling like hell to stay above water.

Like a duck.

My dear friend Woz (please read her blog here) made that comparison years ago, and it stuck.  Think about it: when you watch a duck, gracefully gliding across the water or bobbing gently atop of it, you almost forget that its feet are working overtime to keep it from sinking.  I can relate.  On a daily basis.

I’m hoping that writing on a more regular basis will have a cathartic affect, kind of a mental brain dump (that sounds so gross, sorry!) that will help me unwind.  I hope you will enjoy reading about some of my adventures; I promise, they are rarely mundane…my three darling little ducklings make sure of that!

So, cheers to us all as we gear up for 2013.  Welcome to my duck pond.  I hope you will visit often.

Another venture into blogging…

Seems that I’ve outgrown the “Don’t Lick the Baby” blog…seeing as the “baby” is now almost four years old.  This will hopefully be the new home to all the chronicled Kearns adventures.  Stay tuned!!