blog – Coffee and Inclusion

Duck, Duck, New Site!

Super exciting news!

This fall, I noticed an opportunity to attend an “adult prom” to benefit a local non-profit, The Mother Ship. This organization provides vital support to mothers of children with disabilities, which is obviously a cause to which I can certainly relate. After looking into details for the event, I noticed a grant opportunity, and after a bit of consideration I decided to apply for funding to upgrade my blog. It’s long been a goal to have my own URL, a place I could really make mine and hopefully continue to progress with my writing.

I was beyond honored to be nominated to the Prom Court for this event (joining two other lovely grant finalists), and completely shocked to be crowned Prom Queen…meaning that I had been selected to receive the grant.

Prom Queen!

My new site is currently in the works, and while it will have a new name and look, the duck theme will still be apparent. I can’t wait to show you around the new digs, so stay tuned for the “grand opening” of my site!

I am extremely grateful to The Mother Ship and everyone involved in this project. Thank you for sharing in my dream and joining me on this adventure which will (hopefully!) lead to that book that everyone keeps telling me to write. ?

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Why I Advocate

I’ve always been a quiet person (until you get to know me, I suppose), someone who would rather avoid confrontation than speak up and “cause trouble.”

This all changed when I became part of the disability community 13 years ago, as the mother of an awesome kid with Down syndrome. With the birth of my son also came the birth of an advocate: me.

It wasn’t an immediate change, as I still struggle of when and how to speak up, but in the last year I’ve definitely found myself more determined to have my voice heard. Not only have I advocated for my son, but I’ve gone beyond that to also share my concerns with elected officials in terms of federal and state issues that affect the Down syndrome community and the larger disability community. For the woman who hates phone calls, this was a huge leap outside of my comfort zone, but I did it anyway.

Calling my Senator to share my thoughts about the proposed repeal of the ACHA, June 2017

I fought through nerves and feeling like I was too inexperienced to make a difference to call, email, fax (thanks, ResistBot!), and tag my elected officials on social media in order to be heard. Why, though? Why would this introverted mess put herself through all of this? How did this stressed out mother of three become an advocate?

Because…

My head nearly explodes every time I hear someone drop the R-word.

Seriously, folks. It’s 2018! Let’s get it together. There are other words you can substitute instead of labeling something or someone as “retarded” when you truly mean “ridiculous.” Fix it, please, but until you do, I will be here to correct you and let you know why your word choices are inappropriate.

Others in my community don’t understand.

A few months ago, when I was picking up one of my kids from school, another parent came flying in, irritated, and loudly proclaimed “Sorry I’m late, but a handicap bus took six freakin’ minutes to unload and I was stuck there behind them!” Had I not been so busy biting my tongue to keep my initial reactions in check, I would have thanked that parent for their patience in allowing a student with a disability to safely get off their bus. But, I stood there, my left eyebrow grazing the ceiling, incredulous that someone would be that ignorant. In this instance, something that allows a child with a disability to safely travel to school was simply dismissed as a burden. So many times the disability community is overlooked because something that helps them could potentially be seen as an inconvenience to everyone else. I’ve seen this in education and workplace settings, and I’m sure it exists otherwise. It needs to stop, but until others realize that this type of behavior is not acceptable, it won’t. Next time I find myself in this situation, I hope I will have enough grace and courage to politely engage and raise awareness.

My son has the same rights as everyone else.

Until recently, most of my advocacy has centered around my own son and his inclusion at school. Inclusion is a tricky thing, as there is no “one size fits all” formula to enact it in our schools, churches, and workplaces. I am constantly striving to learn how to be a better advocate for my son so that he has the same opportunities as his non-disabled peers. Once his school years are complete, he has the right to to work and participate in his community as an adult, and lately, it seems that some of the supports that will aide him in this have been jeopardized. Although I had very little experience calling my congressmen, I picked up my phone and called to express my concern about this. I am very fortunate to have fantastic mentors so I can continue to learn how to be the best advocate I can be for my son. It is definitely a learning experience, all around, and I am thankful that I have the chance to learn as I go.

My kids need a strong example to follow.

More than anything, I want my kids to grow up to be confident participants in their communities. They have watched and listened to me make phone calls to Senators, they have asked about the countless emails I have sent, and they have participated in our video messages to our elected officials whom we tag on my social media profiles. I want them to know that their voices can make a difference, no matter what the issue is, and that it is their responsibility and privilege to speak up. They are already on their way to becoming awesome advocates, and I could not be more excited and proud.

Advocacy, no matter how big or small, can be stressful and tiring. Often times, I am tempted to put off an email to my son’s school or a call to my Senator because I am exhausted. But, knowing the impact that can be made, I trudge on, hoping that my quiet, non-confrontational self can make a difference. If nothing else, I have a story to tell, a story that continues to unfold, day after day. Perhaps by sharing a bit of this story, others will be inspired to speak up for those who can’t yet speak up for themselves.

This is how change is made. Change is the ultimate goal of advocacy, and it is also the reward.

Why I Advocate

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Writing Again

A few years ago, a dear friend challenged herself to blog every day. She did it, beautifully, and inspired me to do the same the following year. I don’t think I did it as well as she did, and while some of my posts probably shouldn’t be counted as an entry (I used the ol’ “I can’t think of anything to write but this totally still counts for today!” line more times than I should admit), I finished out 2014 with 365 new posts.

And then I blogged all of four times in 2015.

I didn’t just hit the blogging wall; I crashed into it and laid there, quietly (quiet in the blogosphere, anyway!) for most of the year. I don’t even think I was burned out, but I certainly wasn’t disciplined enough to keep up a steady writing pace. While I needed some time to reflect on my writing, I regret not blogging more than those four times. Three of those four were pretty decent; two were stories about Alex, and one was a snarky piece about booking a Disney vacation (and from that, I learned that you should never bad mouth that mouse, or anything relating to him, without falling under fast criticism of all his adoring fans…yeesh!).

Last week, I was moved to sit down and open up my blog. With the last day of school quickly approaching, I was inspired to write about my oldest son’s final days of elementary school. I pounded out a letter to my Alex; it didn’t take me long, but it was heartfelt and I meant every single word. At the suggestion of friends, I submitted it to a couple different online publications…and then I sat in fear that one of them would actually post it. I am a pretty sensitive person, for better or for worse, and I feared that it wouldn’t be well received if it was published outside of my little duck pond.

I was wrong to worry.

My piece was picked up, it’s been read and shared far and wide, and so far I’ve only heard positive feedback from it. If there are any naysayers, I’d rather not know. It was way outside of my comfort zone to share my writing, and hopefully I will be brave enough to do it again. I am more than grateful for the enthusiastic response, and for the way that piece has resonated with so many parents. At the very least, I hope this experience will inspire me to sit down and write more when the urge strikes, like I did last week. If nothing else, I hope to have more than four posts for 2016.

To those who encourage me, thank you. Keep doing it, please. I need all the help I can get.

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The End

So, here we are. One year and 365 blog posts later, the challenge is complete.

Some posts were a bit late (not many, but some), some were just not good, but they are all there. I did it.

I’m not sure where to go from here. Ideally, I’d like to have my own website with fancier graphics, but we’ll see.

For now, I’ll wish everyone a safe and happy 2015.

Thanks for reading.

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Another one…

Yep. Another one was missed. Ugh.

I was too stinking tired last night to do much of anything, including posting a blog, so this makes the fourth one I’ve missed. Fourth? Fifth? Not sure anymore. Out of nearly 10 straight months, I guess that’s still not bad.

Anyway, good Monday to you all. Mine has started out pretty challenging and blah, so hopefully things take a turn for the better. We shall see.

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As Seen at the Columbus Buddy Walk

I also write for the blog over at ds-connex, as some of you may already know. So for today’s post, I’m going to share the piece that was just posted over there. Enjoy!

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Update

Whoa…I’m almost 3/4 of the way through my “blog every day” resolution for 2014. I’ve written 259 posts (or at least posted once per every day of the year; some “posts” can’t really be considered full entries because, well, it’s difficult to write every day!). My blog has now had over 15,000 page views. Crazy.

Hopefully, I’ll have enough steam to finish out the year! Wish me luck!!

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Guest Blogger

yjy,..m,h,;.k.y

nmmgm

Ok, so my brilliant idea to have Alex play the role of guest blogger tonight kind of backfired. He did type those two lines; he tells me it says “blah, blah, blah”.

That’s probably about how people are reading most of my blog posts, having read so many of my lovely ramblings since I started blogging every day on January 1.

So much for a creative blog post idea. Back to the drawing board.

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Thank You

Fighting off a cold, but enjoying the quiet house too much to go to sleep, I’m finding it difficult to write anything. So, for today’s post, I’ll just say “thanks”.

Thank you for reading my crazy blog, keeping up as I attempt to blog every day in 2014. I haven’t missed a day yet, but some of the posts are real stinkers, so thanks for hanging in here with me.

I hope your weekend is going well and that you enjoy your Sunday.

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