parenting – Page 3 – Coffee and Inclusion

Potty Training…Take 458

Having a child with special needs obviously presents extra challenges. One of these is potty training. I have three children, and I have yet to successfully potty train any of them.

That’s probably a little misleading. The truth is, two of my three kids trained themselves. We’ve been trying to get Alex trained for so long that the other two just kind of mastered it on their own, when it was developmentally appropriate for them to do so. In the meantime, we’ve attempted potty training many, many times with Alex. It obviously never ends the way we hope.

The average age for a child with Down syndrome to be toilet trained is eight. We are two years past that, and I’m done. He can totally do it, but for some reason just won’t. He is about 80% trained, but still can’t stay dry, and we’ve allowed him to stay in Pull-Ups, thinking he would let us know when he was ready.

Well, he’s ready. We made that decision for him, though, because it’s just ridiculous now. It’s easier for him to not stop what he’s doing to use the bathroom, and he probably enjoys that sense of control that he then maintains over the situation.

Sorry, pal. Time’s up.

He did really well yesterday, and while today was a little rough, we stuck to it and made it to bedtime. I thought he was doing so well this evening, and then discovered that he had changed into a Pull-Up at some point. I wasn’t sure if I should be frustrated because he ditched the underpants, or admire him because he managed to get one over on me.

Tomorrow is a new day, and another chance to try again. And try, try we will.

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Cards

Holiday cards are finally ordered. Ugh. That task really should not be the most time consuming of all the holiday items on my to-do list, but somehow, it took me days to get it crossed off.

Now let’s see how long it takes me to get them addressed when they arrive. I totally should have ordered “Happy 2015” cards.

Or maybe “Happy Valentine’s Day”…

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Easier?

When the kids were all very small, and we were exhausted and the house was destroyed and we felt like we were behind with pretty much everything (laundry, exercise, relationships), we told ourselves “It will get easier.”

The kids are now a bit older, but we are still exhausted and the house is still destroyed and we are still behind with pretty much everything. Can we keep lying to ourselves that it will get easier?

I don’t think so.

The truth is that parenting never gets easier. The challenges evolve into different challenges, but I no longer believe that it will be easier to manage everything that comes with parenting.

Parenting a child with special needs throws another loop in the crazy roller coaster of life. Alex is having a terrible day; there have been many more tantrums than moments of compliance (same goes for yesterday). This is probably because our schedule was off this week, and he’s out of sorts. This doesn’t excuse his behavior; at least, not in my eyes, because we aren’t asking him to do anything out of the ordinary. Clean up toys, take a bath, be a kind friend, and (for the love of everything pure and good) stop burping every five seconds; each of these directives has caused at least one tantrum this weekend. I’m out of ideas, and can only hope that Thanksgiving break won’t be as exhausting as this weekend has been.

This is not to say that he hasn’t had great moments this weekend; that would be completely untrue. Sadly, though, he saves those shining examples of his awesome personality for almost everyone but me. I selfishly want him to reserve at least some of those moments for me (Santa, are you listening?!?), but all I can do is wait out his tantrums, keep faith that he might grow out of this sooner than later, and try not to look ahead and panic over the thought of an even longer holiday break next month.

I do think it’s fair to think that things will get better. Better is different than easier, so it’s still ok to tell myself that.

At least, for now.

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Godzilla

This evening, as Addie and I were adorning our nails with some lovely Thanksgiving Jamberry wraps, we were chatting about this and that.

“Mommy,” she said, after listening to Andrew’s bath time commotion upstairs, “Andrew is a lot like Godzilla.”

“Oh?” I curiously responded. “How’s that?”

“Well, he destroys everything in sight, and he’s a total monster,” she quickly explained.

I gotta give her that one.

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Seasons

All through the weekend, we heard about an impending snow storm, which we pretty much disregarded. It’s not unusual to hear about the possibility of severe weather around here, all through the year, but many times it just doesn’t happen. I do like to know what could be coming, so we can plan accordingly, but usually the storm misses us and then we move on.

Imagine my surprise to wake up this morning to find a bunch of snow on the ground, and to hear that the kids were out of school for a snow day. In November. Craziness.

Of course, the kids were elated to have a day off, and they almost immediately wanted to play in the snow. That’s when it began, the relentless chorus of “Mom, where’s my ______” that comes with each new season. Gloves, hats, snow pants, boots. They wanted it all, and couldn’t find any of it.

It quickly occurred to me that the four seasons have different meanings when you’re a kid. Winter is “Mom, where are my mittens?” Spring is “Mo-OM! I can’t find my jacket. I don’t need is anyway, it’s warm!” Summer, or “MOM! I can’t find my other croc!”, comes next, and is followed by Fall, or “Seriously, Mom, I don’t need a jacket. It’s still summer! Besides, I lost that jacket. Will you buy me a new hoodie?”

Seeing as we just entered “Mom, where are my mittens?”, or Winter, I wish all parents the patience to search the entire house, every day, for random gloves, scarves, and boots. May we all retire someplace warm, where we never have to worry about cold weather gear again.

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Twizzlers

When a five year old cautions you against eating too many Twizzlers, in order to avoid a tummy ache, you should probably listen. Kids tend to be in tune with how such things work. Andrew was right on the money with this one.

After discovering that Alex’s iPad may be toast, I almost instantly felt a stress headache coming on, which I eventually decided to treat with a round of stress eating. Watching me cram Twizzlers down my trap probably prompted the stomach ache warning.

I should have listened to him. Now, I still have a headache, and I feel gross for inhaling a handful of licorice. When will I learn?

I think it’s time for bed.

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Oops…Did It Again

Hmm. What do you know? Missed another one. I’m that tired (burned out, overwhelmed, whatever).

Even worse, I didn’t even notice it until now.

How many days left in the year?!?

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Conferences

This evening, I met with the kids’ teachers for the first round of parent/teacher conferences. I am happy to report that all three kids received glowing compliments from their teachers, and they are doing great with their school work.

I’m one proud mama. 🙂

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Heart Day

November 11th, 2004. This was the day that Alex had open heart surgery, at just 3 1/2 months old.

Scariest day of my life.

Thankfully, it went well, and the repair is “perfect”, according to his cardiologist. We will be forever grateful to the skilled surgeon who fixed Al’s heart.

Happy Heart Day, buddy. Ten years! How fast the time has gone…

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Crops

Alex and I have been doing homework for more than an hour; he just now threw in the towel, which suits me fine, because I am ready for bed.

As we were studying for an upcoming Social Studies test, he got a serious case of giggles. Every time the word “crops” came up (which, in reviewing for a test about Native Americans, happens frequently), he nearly fell off the couch giggling. Of course, that only made me giggle, which encouraged him even more.

I’m glad we have a couple more days to review for the test!

Tag: parenting