I have a headache. Could it be because I heard myself say some ridiculous things today? Here’s a sampling:

AlexANDer, the dog can NOT fold laundry.


And why would you leave the bathroom if you weren’t finished wiping?!?


Please get the underpants off of your head. Now.


Give me the snakes. I am so done with this.


It is not nice to call him an “hour hogger”. Please do not call him that again.


We do not chase each other with shoes.


Please do not write “butt”. Your sight word is “but”.


Ok, we are not going to race each other in the laundry baskets.


And perhaps the best of all (seeing as it’s not even Halloween yet):

Santa is watching.


I think I can make it to bedtime. I wonder how many more lovely phrases I can add to this before then?