Mondaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay

Well, it was certainly a Monday.  The Monday after the spring time change, at that.  Blah.

I had another meeting at the school this morning, to discuss Alex’s IEP for next year, then went straight to work.  Work was great, but right after I had to dash to the grocery store and beat the bus home.  Then, we had to pick up my other kiddo, inhale dinner, and make it over to an occupational therapy appointment by 6:30pm. Of course, it was well after 7:30pm before we got home, and nobody was willing to get ready for bed (as, in their little heads, it was still only 6:30pm).  On top of all the chaos, I still had work to do before I could wrap up my day.

So, here I am.  Fighting a head cold, exhausted (mentally and physically), and ready for bed.  This is about as good a blog as you’ll get from me after a day like today.

Here’s hoping tomorrow everyone is a bit more adjusted to the time change.  I do not need a repeat of today, that’s for sure.

Good night!

Captured

Birthdays are a big deal in my family.

We like to get together and celebrate, even if it’s just a made up occasion.  Well before my husband and I were married, he would joke that my family gets together for dinner if someone gets a hangnail (he’s used to it by now, so no worries, ha!). We all have very busy schedules, so it’s nice to gather together to share a meal and lots of laughs.  Birthdays are a great excuse to do just that.

Today, we celebrated my mom’s birthday.  We gathered at my parents’ house, after church, for lunch (and of course cake and ice cream!).  It was low-key, yet festive all the same.  The kids love getting together to play; all six grandkids, ages 10 and younger, were there.  It was loud and fun, and they should all sleep well tonight.

I tend to take a lot of pictures at these gatherings; after all, the kids will never again be exactly the way they were at the moment the photo was snapped.  The next time we meet for a birthday, or even just a random family dinner, they will be a little taller, a little older, a bit more wise.  I want to try and remember how each of my kids, as well as my nephew and nieces, were today, and every time we get together as a family.

I hope that we’ll fondly look back at the photos some day, laughing and remembering.  I know that I love to look back through old photos, so maybe the kids will also enjoy doing that when they are older.  If they will, I’ll be ready.  I’ve done my best in capturing all their funny and/or cute moments, so they will have many, many photos to flip through when they are my age and looking back on their childhood.

That is, if I remember to get them off my camera, print them, and organize them.  It may be easier to just hand them the old phone, eh?

Memories are memories, either way.  Have a great week, friends.

Daylight

I’m sure we’ve all been reminded, at least once already, that Daylight Savings begins tomorrow.  I dread this day every year.

My husband is always the first to disagree with me when I start complaining about the time change.  He, like most others, look forward to having extra daylight in the spring evenings.  To me, it’s not worth the meltdowns that always follow the annual springing ahead.  The kids will be a mess, for at least a month.  This year, my daughter has standardized testing at school the first week of Daylight Savings (great planning there!), and we have a very busy after school schedule this week.  We’ll be (more!) exhausted by Friday, for sure.

But hey, we’ll be exhausted in more daylight, I guess.

I enjoy spring, and I do look forward to summer (kind of…I don’t like weather extremes, so the super hot weather is almost as unappealing as the super cold).  I just wish we could do all this without screwing with my kids schedules.

That’s not asking for too much, right?  Add it to my list, please.

Neverending

Wow.  It’s been a long week.

It wasn’t necessarily a bad week, just long and trying.  We’ve added a couple new things to our after-school schedule, and that has thrown us for a loop, I guess.  When you throw cabin fever in there, it takes a toll. I anticipate that next week will also feel like it will never end, because of the time change (Daylight Savings is evil, I don’t care what you say) and the testing the kids will have at school.  I’m hoping the moon won’t also be full.  I’m exhausted just thinking about it.

I was excited for today to be Friday, even though we just got home after a full day.  Having warm-ish weather and sunshine today, and knowing that we don’t have to get up early tomorrow morning, made it easier to reach the finish line of this long week.  We spent a little bit of time outside after school, which was terrific; the kids and the dog got to expend some of their cooped up energy, which is something we’ve missed doing the last couple of months.  Hopefully they will all sleep well tonight!

Even though it felt like the week would never end, I’m thankful for our full schedules.  It means that we are fortunate and blessed.  Al now has therapy two days a week after school, and the kids all have dance classes.  Pretty soon, Al will start track and field practice for Special Olympics, as well as Miracle League baseball, and Andrew’s t-ball season will gear up in April.  Having such full schedules means that we are healthy and able to keep up with it.  I won’t complain.

Well, not too much.

Battles

I’m a pick-your-battles kind of mom.

Sure, the house is usually a mess, and it’s always very loud, but my kids (typically) have good manners. I may have to make a round of chicken nuggets at dinner, but they (mostly) do their homework on time.  They know what is important to us (respect, dependability, and honesty, to name a few), and they carry through on those things.

I simply don’t have the time or energy to fight every single battle with these kids.  I can either pick and choose my fights and enjoy their childhood, or I can play drill sergeant and nitpick every last detail to try and create “perfect” children.  The latter does not sound the least bit appealing, so I have to let some things go.

Obviously, it might sometimes be nice to have impeccably behaved children, who ate everything placed on a plate in front of them and never left a trace through the house.  In fact, some days, that sounds heavenly. But, after thinking about it, I realized how very dull our day-to-day lives would be if this was the case at our house.  Our kids are who they are because we allow them to be themselves.  Sure, they find themselves in trouble sometimes (more often than not, some days!) for mouthing off or having an attitude, or for making a ridiculous mess and then walking away, but all in all, they need to have some freedom to express themselves. If that means that the house will be untidy sometimes, fine.

When you’re a parent, you make many sacrifices.  It just comes with the territory.  My kids know the importance of respecting everybody, period.  They say “please” and “thank you” without being prompted. My daughter understands, and the boys are starting to learn, that when you say you’ll do something, you do it.  I will gladly sacrifice a spotless, quiet house and foodie kids in exchange for those things.

I’m sure that as they get older, the battles I choose will change.  There will probably be more things to fight. I feel confident, though, that I will still be selective in which issues I battle.  I want to enjoy the kids while they are kids, and I feel like this is a good step towards doing that.

Words

Today, 3/5/14, is a day to raise awareness: Spread the Word to End the Word.  If you’ve not yet heard of this campaign, you can find all the details at www.r-word.org.

The “r-word”.  This is the focus of this campaign.  You’ve all heard it; you may have even said it.  I have, before I ever learned how hurtful it can be.  The purpose of a day like today is to share what I’ve learned about using such hateful language, even if you never intend any harm.  Most people who say the r-word don’t have ill intentions; I’m here to tell you, though, that it is hurtful, and it is wrong.

This isn’t the first year I’ve recognized this campaign, or blogged about it, or posted about it on my Facebook and Twitter pages.  I will continue to help Spread the Word, though, until more people are willing to admit that the use of any hurtful language is inappropriate.  I’ve had lengthy debates with people over this, and I’ve heard a lot attempts to defend this word: “You can’t ban words, that’s ridiculous”, “You take this too personally”, “That word is still used in a clinical setting!”, or “It’s just a word”. I could go on, but I think my favorite is “I’m sick of having to be so ‘PC’ all the time”.

Let me tell you about being politically correct.

I’m sick of hearing people complain about it.  You know what it comes down to?  RESPECT.  Easy as that. If we truly respected each other enough to stop making ignorant choices in our language, then there wouldn’t be such a cry for everyone to be “politically correct”.  Instead, we could just call it “just being nice”.  (This rant goes well beyond the use of the r-word.  We’ll revisit this in a later post, I’m sure…)

I fear that it will be a long time before advocates like myself can relax and pat ourselves on the back because everyone is just being nice to each other.  I’m not naive enough to believe that this will be a short-lived campaign.  It will take a lot of diligent work, which is sometimes awkward; have you ever called anyone out for using the r-word?  Or any inappropriate slur?  It’s not easy.  It sometimes causes conflict, and embarrassment.  It must be done, though.  It doesn’t have to be a huge confrontation; a simple, quiet, yet direct statement does the trick: “I think you would like to know that using that word is not appropriate.  It’s hurtful and unnecessary.” And then move on.  There’s no reason to dwell on it.  Hopefully, the person who used the word will then stop to think before they say it again.  If they don’t, you’ve at least planted a seed. That’s where it begins.

Alex has taught me a lot in his nine and a half years, much more than I feel I’ve taught him.  I’ve become a more understanding person, more patient, and more passionate about standing up for issues that are important.  This is a big one.  When people use the r-word, they are insulting my son, and they are belittling all the hard work he has put forth just to keep up.  I will not stand for it.  He may not be able to speak up about this just yet, but I certainly can.

I wouldn’t tolerate the use of any slurs in my presence.  Again, it comes back to that little seen attribute, respect.  Hearing the r-word, though, launches me to the top of my soap box, and I won’t come down until I’ve let you know about it.

Save me a trip to my perch on that soap box, would you?  Go to www.r-word.org and take the pledge. Share it on your Facebook and Twitter pages.  Help us Spread the Word to End the Word.

Hair

I took Addie to get her hair trimmed tonight.  She’s needed this for quite a while, but has balked at the thought of a haircut because she wants to have long hair.  It was to the point, though, of looking scraggly and out of control, so I was happy that I finally convinced her to get the trim.

I started thinking about how obsessed we are, as a culture, with our hair.  Too much hair, not enough, none at all.  Too gray, too treated, too trendy, not trendy enough.  Where does it end?  When my seven year old has very definitive thoughts about how she should wear her hair, is that too young to care?  We’ve tried to teach all the kids that how a person look doesn’t matter, but some of the cultural influences have obviously started to creep in.  I’ll admit it, I’ve gotten on Ad’s case for messy hair, but that is because I want her to learn to take care of herself.  If I say something to her, she brushes her hair, then slides a headband on or clips her hair out of her eyes, and we move on with our day.  I ask that all my kids have clean and tidy appearances, and hopefully that isn’t feeding into a future unhealthy obsession.

We’re all guilty of having a certain fascination with our hair.  We assign it a big piece of our identity.  I’m not saying that there is anything wrong with this; I’m just curious as to why this might be.  It’s traumatic when we lose our hair, for whatever reason.  Many of us put a lot of thought into how we wear our hair.  I tend to change mine as often as I can, giving the guy who styles it free reign (almost) with the color and style.  My philosophy is this: it will grow back, and if I’m going to pay that much money to have it done, then I want people to notice.  Plus, it’s way easier and far less painful to change my hair style than it is to drop ten pounds.  Right?  Right.

I’m quite certain this isn’t the first episode Addie will have in dealing with her appearance.  I’m all for letting her have control over it (as long as she is respectful), but I do hope she takes it easy on herself.  Easier said than done, I know.

Selfie

Selfie.  Such a strange weird, no?  Our culture has become obsessed with them.  It seems quite vain to post photos of ourselves, either alone or with friends, but we do it anyway.  It’s fun.  I’m guilty of doing it.  I mean, how else am I going to get feedback on a new haircut, or show off how artistic I can be with my iPhone camera as I sit out in the sun?

I watched last night as Ellen challenged the world to retweet the now famous Celebrity Selfie from the Oscars.  I played along; I mean, when Ellen says to do something, you just do it.  It was a silly, fun moment during an event that has been terribly dry in the past.  It kept us watching.  Now, what they should have done was have that photo printed, then had everyone in it sign their name, and they could have auctioned that thing off for a ton of money which could have then been donated to one of the charities supported by the people in that picture.  (You can tell that Team Alex will kick off in just 18 days…everything is a fundraising idea right now…)

For those of us who are always snapping the photos of our families and friends, selfies are important pieces of our own history.  Without them, there may be zero pictures of us.  I never think to ask someone to take a photo of me with my family; instead, I’m just taking a picture of them.  Now, though, it’s too easy to just turn the camera around, grab one of the kids, make a funny face, and boom…instant memory.

So, yes, selfies are fun, and it’s a trend in which I partake, but seriously, could we not come up with a better name for it?  I’m not even certain what would be better, but there has to be something.  I’ll keep thinking on that, but until that lightening bolt strikes, here’s a cute selfie that my Addie and I took just a while ago.

Oscars

Sunday nights: a time to relax and prepare for the week ahead.  And, once a year, it’s (finally!) time to watch the Academy Awards.

Movie

We finally had the opportunity to take the kids to see The Lego Movie today.  They have been anxious to go see it, but our busy schedules have caused a delay.

We opted to see the film in 3D, as we arrived to the theatre closer to the beginning of that showing than the 2D.  The cost for a family of five to see a 3D movie?  $53.  I’m sorry, but that is obscene.  We typically wait until movies go to the “cheap theatre” before we see a kids’ movie, because it’s way cheaper (usually around $24 for all five of us, including concessions!), and the kids rarely sit through an entire film.  It’s just more practical to wait a little while longer to see a movie instead of paying ridiculous ticket prices.  Again, though, they were really excited to see this particular movie, so we splurged.

We bypassed concessions this time, though; they had snacked all day, and I may have tucked a few treats into my purse, so they were just fine without popcorn and slushies.  The movie kept them pretty occupied, and they really didn’t even miss the extra junk food.

I thought the story was entertaining enough, although I felt the ending was a little over their heads.  Visually, there was enough going on to keep them engaged in the story, and two of the three kids enjoyed it.  My oldest, however, decided that napping through the end of the movie was a better use of his time.  Eh, well, at least he was quiet.

All in all, I’m happy the kids got to see the movie today.  They’ll get to discuss the film with their friends at school next week, and I’m guessing they will continue to reenact their favorite scenes.  I do hope, though, that they stop singing that song.  I’m already over it.